Alegría de a peso.

"De todos los colores

me gusta el negro

me gusta el negro

por que las esperanzas

yo nunca las pierdo."

"I hear the pop, clunk, hum, clink, buzz of the sonic agent provocateurs scrambling to inscribe difference."

Vagancias I

Fear.

"Fear  of fear may  lead you  to  hang back,  living  a  lesser  life
than you  are  capable. Fear of fear may  lead you  to push ahead,
living a false  life, off center,  tense and missing the moment. But
the  capacity  to  feel  this moment,  including your  fear, without
trying to escape it, creates a state of alive and humble spontane-
ity. You are ready for the unknown as it unfolds, since you are not
pulled back or pushed forward from  the horizon of the moment.
You are hanging right over the edge.

By  leaning just beyond your fear, you  challenge your limits
compassionately,  without  trying  to  escape  the  feeling  of  fear
itself. You step beyond the solid ground of security with an open
heart. You stand in  the space of unknowingness, raw and awake.
Here, the gravity of deep being will attend you to  the only place
where fear is obsolete: the  eternal free  fall of home. Where you
always are.

Own your  fear,  and  lean just beyond  it.  In  every  aspect  of
your life. Starting now."

Dia 20 - Day 20 - Friendship.

Dia 19 - Day 19 - Kindness.

My thoughts are clear, but might be hard to put them in words. Here is my best try to convey the conclusions I've reached on my meditation on kindness:

I am starting to understand that what I want is not always the best for every one. 

Although I do deserve the best and I am free to do what I please, what I want is not always the best for everyone. I am starting to understand that things are beyond the scope of my immediate perception. 

What I believe is right might not please others.

I am certain that very often I will be in the difficult position of making a decision that might affect others in one way or another. I remember taking a vow, during an initiation, to always act in accordance to the higher good and in the direction of light. I do deem this vow very important. I will know what is right from within, "with a peace within my heart" as someone recently taught me. What I believe is right, might not please others, but if I am to live by my principles it will be impossible to please everyone.

Part of living is making mistakes. As the man I believe I am, I must have the willingness to live with the weight of my mistakes. Not as punishment or with a negative connotation. Doing what I think is right, or what I want, might be proven wrong in time. It is my responsibility to accept the consequences of my decisions and to humbly appreciate the valuable lessons my mistakes will represent. I am certain however, that if I am to live in the direction of light and seeking peace within my heart, my decisions will never result in regret.

I have recently decided to embrace honesty, simplicity and a sincere interest for the understanding of others. Living towards the light and for the greater good will often need my personal interests to be out of the question. I might be required to let my ego aside, to see the big picture, to allow the wellbeing of others before my own. "To have a consideration of the welfare of others." These are the ideals I want to live by. This for me, is the meaning of kindness. 

L.L.L.

Dia 18.

Hoy aprecié como silencioso observador:

- Un grupo de muchachos tirando piropos y tratando de llamar la atención de una señorita. La cantidad de ocurrencias que vociferaban me dió bastante risa. Hasta ganas me daban de unirme al juego.

- Un puesto de jugos, donde cada que se enciende la licuadora, se va la señal de la TV. La señorita justifica su mala instalación eléctrica diciendo: "así cuando preparo los jugos, no me distraigo."

- Un problema en común en los ojos de un amigo. La certeza de que nos ayudaremos mutuamente.

- La libertad de pensamiento, lo aventurado de una mente y la sinceridad de una mirada.

Aprendí bastante sobre mí.